My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize