she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
