My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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