the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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