seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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