Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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