atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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