i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
