this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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