Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
