Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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