Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize