Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize