i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
