You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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