Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
