I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
