its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
