I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
