hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize