I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
