I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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