Do vagina's smell?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize