Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
