writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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