id be glad to
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize