My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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