arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize