he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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