I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
