Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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