I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
operation have a gay friend backfired
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
