I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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