I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
