You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
