Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
