Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
