words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
