It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
