i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
