I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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