none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
