We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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