I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
