please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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