Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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