operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
