Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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