You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
