his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
