4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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