Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize