it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
