Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
