I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
