wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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