something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
