allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
