Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize