i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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