that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
