remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize