My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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