Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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