return my video game
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
