The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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