yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
